Wacky Patents Carry On Jeffersonian Legacy
By Steve Smith
Nobody wishes more
than I do that ingenuity
should receive liberal encouragement. --Thomas Jefferson
Thomas
Jefferson was a prolific inventor. In 1787 he invented a macaroni making
machine. He also invented, inter alia, a
swivel chair, the moldboard plow, a spherical sundial and a
duplication
machine. Jefferson also invented a cipher wheel that allowed
people to code and decode messages. The cipher machine was
later "reinvented" prior
to World War I and used by the U.S. Army to encrypt messages.
Many of Jefferson's agricultural and mechanical inventions
are still in use today.
Jefferson also
had very strong opinions about technology. He recognized
the importance of innovations to the new American
culture and economy. It is not surprising then that the patents
were thought to be important enough to include in the U.S.
Constitution. In Article 1, section 8, clause 8 one purpose
of the legislature
is: "To promote the progress of science and useful arts,
by securing for limited times to authors and inventors the
exclusive right to their respective writings and discoveries "
Thomas Jefferson
examined the first U.S. patent application as part of his
duties as the first Secretary of State. According
to the first Patent Act, passed by Congress on April 10, 1790,
the Secretary of State was to head a "three-man board" that
also included the Secretary of War and the Attorney General "having
power to grant patents." Jefferson is thought to have
examined about 114 patent applications during his tenure. Jefferson's
framework for examination of a patent application is still
in
use today by the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office. According
to Jefferson, an invention must be new, not obvious and useful
in order to be entitled to a patent. These principles have
been codified in 35 U.S.C. 102, 35 U.S.C. 103, and 35 U.S.C.
101,
respectively.
The first patent was issued to Samuel Hopkins in 1790 for
a device and method for producing potash, used in making soap
and glass
at the time. Until 1839, issued U.S. patents were not given
a number. The first numbered patent issued by the U.S. Patent
Office
was signed by Andrew Johnson (before he became President).
The Patent Office now issues nearly 90,000 patents a year.
The author Robert
Routledge is reported to have said, "Every
new invention, every triumph of engineering skill, is the embodiment
of some scientific idea; and experience has proven that discoveries
in science, however remote from the interests of everyday life
they may at first appear, ultimately confer unforeseen and incalculable
benefits on mankind." The "unforeseen and incalculable
benefits to mankind" can be illustrated by the genius of
the following 15 patents. These are some of my favorites from
my archived file labeled: "Now why didn't I think of that?" Happily,
two Sacramento inventors made the list.
To fully appreciate these inventions view the patents up
at www.uspto.gov.
-
Patent
No. 5,823,527 (Nakimats 1997) SELF DEFENSE WEAPON WITH
MEMO PAD. Finally an invention that allows you to kick
a** and
take names.
- U.S. Patent No. 586,025 (Gardiner 1897) COMBINED GROCERS
PACKAGE GRATER, SLICER AND MOUSE AND FLY TRAP. No well appointed
deli
counter is without one.
- U.S. Patent No. 4,247,283 (Vidas 1981) MUSICAL INSTRUMENT
ADAPTED TO EMIT A CONTROLLED FLAME A flame throwing trumpet
sure to spice up the elementary school band.
- U.S. Patent No. 5,954,369 (Seabrook 1999) GREETING CARD
WITH KIT FOR HEALTH TESTING A 50th birthday greeting card with
a fecal
occult blood test kit. How thoughtful!
- U.S. Patent No. 1,926,420 (Renfro 1933) COMBINED GREYHOUND
HARNESS AND RIDER SUPPORT MEANS How did they get that hat
on the monkey?
- U.S. Patent No. 5,901,666 (Belisle 1999) PET DISPLAY CLOTHING
Why pay the neighbor to watch your rodents while you are
away take them with you!
-
U.S.
Patent No. 4,150,505 (Voelker 1979) BIRD TRAP AND CAT FEEDER "A bird trap and cat feeder for catching birds and
continuously supplying neighborhood cats with sparrows to eat." Now
if we could only do something about those cats
- U.S. Patent No. 4,989,275 (Fain 1991) FLUSHABLE VEHICLE
SPITOON You might be a redneck if
- U.S. Patent No. 6,368,227 (Olson 2002) METHOD OF SWINGING
ON A SWING This patent has changed the world as We now know
it
-
U.S.
Patent No. 3,216,423 (Blonsky 1965) APPARATUS FOR FACILITATING
THE BIRTH OF A CHILD BY CENTRIFUGAL FORCE I am
so glad they provided
a net to catch the new baby.
-
U.S.
Patent No. 4,978,948 (Samen 1990) COMBINED EARTHQUAKE SENSOR
AND NIGHT LIGHT For those who have difficulty telling
if all that shaking is an earthquake
-
U.S.
Patent No. 256,265 (Applegate 1882) DEVICE FOR WAKING PERSONS
FROM
SLEEP The inventor provides a "frame when it
falls will strike a light blow sufficient to awaken the sleeper " I
think that Rube Goldberg invented this one first.
- U.S. Patent No. 4,344,424 (Barmby 1982) ANTI-EATING FACE
MASK Hello, Clarisse
-
U.S.
Patent No. 4,101,028 (Woolbright 1978) HERB CLEANER RECORD
COVER
This Sacramento inventor provides a "record
album cover that enables the clean, orderly removal of impurities
in natural herbs " Could those impurities be seeds?
-
U.S.
Patent No. 4,858,627 (Netschert 1989) SMOKERS HAT A hat
worn on
the head of the user while smoking "with an
exhaust system for expelling filtered, deionized and optionally
scented air from the hat." Jefferson felt that science
and invention were an important means of advancing social progress
and human happiness. In view of these patents, Jefferson would
no doubt be pleased!